Few extended families are untouched by divorce.  Virtually none of us is immune from the possibility of divorce and divorce is frightening at any time of life.  However, when a woman divorces while her children are still at home, divorce is particularly daunting.  Each woman facing divorce should consider the following advice.

 

Line Up Your Support System—

Find an Attorney. A woman contemplating divorce should seek basic information on Texas law regarding marital property, child custody, support and procedures.  The old cliché, “Knowledge is power” is never more true than in the realm of divorce.  If the woman is the initiator, there may be very good reasons to carefully time starting the process.  Regardless of which spouse is the instigator, no one should commit to and decisions until armed with knowledge of the law.

Find a Therapist. Even the mentally healthy, well-adjusted person needs professional mental health support while making a total life altering transition like divorce. No court, in 2011, frowns on the parent who reaches out for professional help.  In fact, the opposite is true.  Judges respect the parent seeking help.

Find a Financial Professional. If a woman does not know the family finances she must obtain that information, either through the legal process or through her spouse. Next, that knowledge must be  analyzed to anticipate and plan her financial future.  One of the most valuable advisors during a divorce is a financial planning professional.  Financial planning professionals come in many forms from wealth managers at major brokerage firms to CPAs to certified divorce planners.  Find the best fit for the information gathered and utilize a financial professional.

Confide in the Right Friend. Share details of your situation with a select few.  Confide only in people who will tell you what you don’t want to hear and who will support you emotionally but also help you minimize the drama.  Confide only in people who will hold your confidences.  No one likes to be gossiped about and no child likes to hear or overhear details of their parents’ divorce.

And then—Focus on the Big Picture and Pick Your Battles. Think long and hard about your primary goals and interests for the divorce process and your life after divorce.  Do you want to spend valuable time  consumed with anger? All too often people let their anger at their situation manifest itself in a “position” on which they have to win, or more accurately, they have to beat their spouse.  For example, some parents fight to the bitter end over whether the other parent has an extra night with the children in a week.   The fight usually results in great bitterness and unintended consequences such as added stress on the children and an overall loss of flexibility and cooperation between the parents.  When the children of divorce are adults they rarely focus on how many days a week they had with each parent.  They focus on which parent created the most peaceful and supportive household.

There is no way to eliminate fear and anger completely from the divorce process.  However, information and support are the best tools with which to fight fear.  And when fear dissipates, anger is more likely to fade.   With fear and anger under control divorce may be put into perspective and faced with composure.

 

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This article is courtesy of…

 

 

 

Goranson, Bain, Larsen, Greenwald, Maultsby & Murphy, PLLC
8150 North Central Expressway, Suite 1850
Dallas, TX 75206
214-373-7676 | www.gbfamilylaw.com

GoransonBain is a lawfirm dedicated solely to the practice of family law. The firm offers high caliber representation in all areas of family law including complex litigation, collaborative divorce, marital property agreements and child custody. The firm’s 13 lawyers offer a vast range of experience and many options for clients. Among the partners are three former family court judges and associate judges. GoransonBain attorneys have been recognized among the finest lawyers in the Metroplex and throughout the State of Texas.